First love

‘But what’s so great about camping anyway?’
‘That’s such a stupid question I hardly know where to start.’
‘I’m all ears, convince me.’
‘But we’ve been here before and no matter what I say, you won’t get it!’
“I might…’
‘I don’t think so my angel.’
‘On what basis?’
‘On the basis we’ve been married for 35 years and you’ve never yet set your precious little trotter over the threshold of a ground sheet.’
‘But it’s damp in tents. And it’s cold at night time, and…’
‘And you can’t plug your hairdryer in – I know, but really, things have changed since you last seriously considered the idea back in 1746. They have that new-fangled electricity on campsites now, and there are even flushing toilets.’
‘Funny. But what about robbers?’
‘Ah yes the gangs of ruthless criminals who set about poor unsuspecting campers in the dead of night and cosh them over the head to steal their frying pans and deckchairs.’
‘It could happen…’
‘And a yeti might plod down from the hillside to ask for a bacon sandwich and some toilet paper for his outside lav but I don’t think it’s likely.’
‘But what about the comforts of hotels? That’s worth paying a bit extra for surely?’
‘Well over the years we’ve paid quite a lot extra for those comforts you mention, though I’m not sure that a bedroom where you can only just swing a moderately sized mouse really counts as a comfort.’
‘But there’s hot water, and there’s…’
‘…the noise from the newly-weds next door. Yes I remember it well – made me feel old just being there.’
‘But isn’t it nice to cosy up in a nice warm hotel room and watch Coronation Street on the TV?’
‘I’d rather scratch my eyes out with a gnarled stick than watch Coronation Street on my holidays.’
‘Well what would you prefer then?’
‘Me… I’d prefer to look up from the warmth of my sleeping bag and see a million sparkling stars studding a velvety black sky. I’d like to feel the gentle calm of an evening breeze and the sounds of the country all around as slumber overtakes me. That’s what I’d like.’
‘You’ve never told me that before.’
‘I’ve never got a word in edgeways before…’
‘But you can see stars from the window of a hotel bedroom.’
‘You can I suppose. But it’s not the same.’
‘You know what I think?’
‘I can’t wait…’
‘You’re a romantic. You fell in love with camping when you were a child and you’ve never lost the feeling.’
‘I suppose there’s something in that …in a manly sort of way of course.’
‘Of course.’
‘You know it’s amazing how perceptive you are. You really understand me, I just don’t know where I’d be without you…
‘What have you done?
‘Nothing. Can’t a man give his wife a compliment without her being suspicious?’
‘Possibly. But not this wife. Spill.’
‘Honestly. It was just a compliment.’
‘Spill.’
‘Erm… You love it in Dorset don’t you?’
‘I do, why?’
‘No reason. Except that as it happens I’ve found this amazing little campsite…’
‘Unbelievable!’
‘And if you were to give it a try it would make me very happy – You want me to be happy don’t you?
‘Thirty five years and counting. You’re persistent I’ll say that for you…’